The Airing of Grievances
Sunday, December 26, 2004
I Gotta Lotta Problems With You People - Jackie's Fifth Edition
Grievances, grievances, and more grievances. This time the folks bothering yours truly are hypocritical, selfish, Michael Jordan wannabe, phonies. Can't fuckin' stand 'em.
Case in point. Kobe Bryant. And since I'm a little weary from all the Festivus grieving I've been doing, I'm gonna give the honors here to Selena Roberts of the New York Times. An excerpt from her spot on piece:
Where did Bryant go wrong in his imitation of M. J.? It began somewhere in suburbia, with his needs indulged by a doting family, the ball always in his hands.Kobe Bryant has experienced one of the more spectacular falls from grace of any athlete during our time. While I will admit that the rape allegations surprised me, the rest of the stuff hasn't in the slightest. From pretty much the beginning, the guy struck me as a first-rate phony. Yeah, he could hoop his friggin' ass off, but his studied personality seemed insincere at best and utterly contrived and manipulative at worst. His exposure as a fraud was simply a matter of time.
Somehow, this sheltered existence left him arrested in development and devoid of street savvy. Bryant never learned the N.B.A. code: choose pole dancers over hotel clerks, teammates who make you better and discretion over snitching.
For two years, Bryant has violated all of the above. Instead of abiding by the "keep it real" index of N.B.A. players, Bryant outed himself as a phony. The first sign of this developed when Bryant, a self-professed glowing father and husband, was accused of raping a concierge in Eagle, Colo.
Instead of finding humility, Bryant responded with an odd mix of arrogance and insecurity. As if to boost his street cred, Bryant sat still for his first tattoo - which, even now, seems like a Cracker Jack press-on.
Bryant's transparency is his weakness. You could almost see through him yesterday, peer right into his desperation to show up O'Neal.
He called the loss a "learning experience," handled a few more questions and politely left the podium. All that charm, and little appeal. All those points, and no victory for Kobe. In this odd way, it's Christmas every day in Laker Land.
(Thanks for the heads up, BV.)