The Airing of Grievances
Friday, August 27, 2004
Getting The Frank Outta Dodge
So my choices for the next week and a half were:

- Batten down the hatches, deal with the protesters, anarchists, Republicans, and other ne'er-do-wells flowing in to the city, do nothing at work, watch all the speeches and blog away; OR

- Spend the convention here:

Have a nice week.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Does Your Conscience Bother You?
It's official: the GOP has locked up the cracker-ass cracker vote.

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Pleased To Introduce...
...long-time listener, first-time caller Blue Horseshoe, with the first guest entry on AofG:

What's the link between this article,

and these two pages?

Don't know?

Well, it just so happens one of the largest and most promising oil concessions, Block 5, happens to be near Darfur and is owned by ... wait for it ... Central TotalElFina of France. Now, wern't Chirac and Villepen slagging off America as dumb Imperialists and using a "No Blood For Oil" argument over Iraq? Seems genocide in Africa is OK though!

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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
"I'll Have To Put The Smack Down"
Josh brings it like he's never brought it before. Compelling.
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Monday, August 23, 2004
This Is Worth A Couple Hours Of Your Time
While reading Mathew Gross' blog tonight, I came across a link to My War, a blog maintained by an infantryman serving in Mosul. I'll let Gross speak for me on this one:
Rarely do you find a blog that is so compelling that you read the whole thing-- and by that I mean every entry ever posted-- in one sitting.
Yup. With one good friend in Iraq and two more about to be sent over, I'm absolutely starved for real information that hasn't been filtered through DoD or political channels about what it is really going on over there. I highly suggest putting on something heavy (the Sex Pistols worked for me), start at the beginning and read every single word.

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Doin' The Right Thing - Sort Of

GWB is finally calling for an end to the Swift Boat Whores ads. I wonder how much of this was that the Swift Boat whores have been repeatedly shown to have been liars, and how much of it had to do with Move On.org's ads starting to gain some traction?

Either way, it is a Presidential move. I'm sure Bush is hoping that the swing voters don't see it as too litte, too late.

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Meatathalon - Foiled
In honor of the Olympics, I decided to compete in an overlooked ancient Greek tradition - the Meatathalon. Ancient Greeks would compete with one another in an event of staggering skill and endurance, to eat five straight meals consisting of meat from different parts of the same animal. Contestants were judged on speed, vairety of meat cut, and style points, awarded by trained Meatathalon judges. Imagine if you will, a Greek warrior, resplendant in shining armor and tunics, chowing down on lamb chops, mutton, kabobs, tripe, and leg of lamb in one 3 day period. Breathtaking, I assure you.

Of course, like the Pentathalon, the ancient test of martial skill and endurance, the Meatathalon had to be updated to today's eating habits. Check my plan for last week's attempt at a modern Meatathalon.

Thursday Lunch: A hangar steak sandwich at Sidecar.
Thursday Dinner: A homemade shell steak from Stew Leonard's.
Friday Lunch: A Hickory Burger (ground chuck) at Houston's.
Friday Dinner: Porterhouse Steak at Manhattan's best new steakhouse, Wolfgang's.
Saturday Lunch: The Brazilian specialty filled with all types of meats - Feijoada ("Fej-WOW-da") at Circus.

How did I do? Well, the first two events started off par with the field. I only ate half the sandwich bread at Sidecar, but posihed off the entire interior. A 2 tenths deduction on style points, but still in the hunt. A solid performance on the shell steak lead to a total demolishion of Houston's Hickory Burger Friday afternoon. This lead to the fourth and most important leg of the Meatathalon.

Wolfgang's was a virtuouso performance. Ask Frank, or Jose Mc Meat, who witnessed it. Almost a whole porterhouse for two, with bone action. One of the finest performances in the history of the Meatathalon - modern or otherwise. I could see it then, fathers would tell their son's of my greatness, poets and minstrels would serenade the countryside with my grandeur. I stopped to praise the Gods before demolishing a nice desert as well. I was headed for an Olympic record Meatathalon performance, and I was giddy for the next day.

Then, the next morning, I woke up, and was struck down by a jealous Zeus, progenetor of the Meatathalon. His thunderbolt? Food poisoning. Struck down at the height of my powers by a brutal case. What caused the food poisioning? The freakin' shellfish special that we had ordered at the table. I had this competition locked up tight. And I was showing off for the audience by downing a couple of extra shirmps and crabmeat cocktail.

Why? Why oh Zeus did I go for the shellfish? The answer is Greek, and as old as the Meatathalon itself...Hubris.

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Friday, August 20, 2004
Karl Rove - Behind a Bush Campaign Smear Tactic? No Way!
How can people say that about Karl Rove? He is a man of the highest moral character. He would never make up implications that John McCain had sired bastard racially mixed children in a racist Southern state that still flies the Confederate Battle Flag. He would never try to whip Christian Fundamentalists into a frenzy over nothing. And he would never have had close personal and political connections to a group of sordid Texas Republicans changing their stories and hell-bent on libelling a United States Senator, decorated war veteran, and candidate for President. No way. In fact, I think Karl Rove is just dreamy.

Color me facinated by the NY Times expose on the Swift Boat Whores (whole article in printable format).

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It's So On
Regular AofG readers have probably noticed that I'm not a huge Drudge Report fan - Matt's headline tonight, though, is spot-on - the Empire (what Drudge calls the liberal media) is starting to Strike Back. It's about time. To wit:

- In one article, the New York Times completely dismantles the Swift Boat Whores' book and ad campaign and leaves them only with the rather irrelevant argument of when Kerry may have been in Cambodia and their truly legitimate beef with his anti-war stances after coming home from Vietnam. Sorry guys, it was fun, but you're somewhere between minutes fourteen and fifteen.
- Chris Matthews has gone from GOP waterboy during the Democatic National Convention to dreamy stud with his recent smack-downs of Bush campaign strategist Matthew Dowd (transcript here - scroll towards the end) and The Completely Insane Michelle Malkin. Do yourself a favor and watch this clip - see you next Tuesday, Michelle.

It's starting to feel like the media is actually opening its eyes and growing a pair, after a three and a half year hibernation. Welcome back...
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Thursday, August 19, 2004
Caption Contest #2

You know what to do (apologies in advance to the ladies)
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My masochistic obsession with Season 1 of the "The Apprentice" continues, despite the new season starting in just three short weeks. The headline of this item rather limits the audience of the annoyed, no?
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The Maggie O'Hooligan Award Goes To...
...Henry Blodgett for his Slate piece on the utter uselessness of academic stock valuation techniques. I imagine the reaction of Merrill Lynch clients to this objective and well-thought out explanation for why Google could be worth anywhere between zero and $300 might go something like this.
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"Can You Dig It?"

Following up on this morning's post, we get this speech, given by Kerry this morning to the International Association of Fire Fighters.

In that Slate discussion I linked to, Jacob Weisberg argues that by responding to the Swift Boat Whores' lies, Kerry lowers himself into the attack, thereby giving them legitimacy. I say, F that. These ads and the SBWFC book, when placed in front of the automatons that read the Drudge Report and watch Fox News, have unfortunately had a negative effect on Kerry. Sometime the only way to beat the bully is to actually hit back. As usually happens in that situation, we'll get to probably see the true pussitude of the bully's nature in this case.
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Paging Dale Carnegie - President Bush on Line 2

Chapter 1 - Bully little old ladies/teachers.

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I Had About Eight...Teen Of 'Em

Wakka Wakka Wakka

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Why Have Those Boat Guys Been So Quiet?
Josh Marshall revisits the Swift Boat Whores for Chimpy smear campaign, with one of the better entries he's had in a while. The WaPo article and Slate exchange that he references can be found here and here, both are worth your time.

For more on campaign negativity and how you too can stay in a close race, despite being a failure as president, with no vision to improve matters, peep this DailyKos entry.
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Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Tuesday Afternoon Back-and-Forth
ESPN Page 2 has a very good running discussion between The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, and pop culture scribe Chuck Klosterman. The meeting between these two minds represents a Lakers-Celtics-esque matchup of two of the best Gen X'er journalists out there and plays up two contrasting, yet equally appealing styles - both are sports, movie, music, and all-around pop culture junkies. Simmons is, IMO, the most well-versed NBA writer around, far exceeds Klosterman's grasp when it comes to discussing sports, and writes in a more snarky, sarcastic manner. Klosterman, on the other hand, makes Simmons look like a child (or at least a 30-something white guy with a crappy CD collection) when music is the subject and is more erudite and witty. He also used to write for the Akron Beacon Journal, so he's a sentimental favorite of mine.

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Sunday, August 15, 2004
The Couple Is Registered At Von Dutch
Tabloid fodder involving Paris and Nicky Hilton, Bijou Phillips, and one of the Maloof brothers? Yes, please! I'm not sure, but I think my favorite part of this story is the groom's name. Todd Andrew Meister. Todd Meister. The Toddmeister. Are you kidding me?

[Oh, as you probably can tell, I'm back a bit early...it's a long story, but let's just say we only could take one full day of tooling around in the mud.]
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Friday, August 13, 2004
That'll Do It

I'm off to Vermont for the weekend. Given the forecast, the close grouping of 70,000 odorific people, a long car ride, and what will no doubt be a funereal atmosphere, I'm sure there'll be some Grievances to Air come Monday.
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McGreevey - Picking Up The Pieces

Tabloid fodder today in the Northeast Corridor aside, there have been some good articles in NYC and NJ papers about the whole McGreevey incident, which is pretty facinating. The NY Daily News opens with the tawdry "The Gov & His Love". The Philly Daily News, in a typical philly move, offered only the one word grunt, "Out". Der Sturmer simply and tastefully states: "I'm Out" (dpn't worry, conseervative agendas at the end of its editorals).

Also, the speech itself is worth writing about. It was remarkable. He used words such as "tortured", "confused", and "proud". I don't think I've seen anything quite like it. Other highlights inlculde:
This, the 47th year of my life, is arguably too late to have this discussion,
but it is here, and it is now.

I am required ... to do what is right to correct the consequences of my actions

Set aside the irreparable damage he will have done his wife (who is the real victim in all of this), children and the rest of his family. McGreevey never looked more like a competant chief executive than he did yesterday. McGreevey's booby prize for such a "courageous" move? Well, his name will become a verb, and he'll get an all expenses paid trip to beautiful, sub-tropical Woodbridge, NJ (otherwise known as Staten Island West).

As far as the political and moral reprecussions of this story, I think the NY Times handled it with the most grace and offered thoughtful commentary. Check it. The big issue here is not so much the homosexual relationship as it is the cover-up and the political patronage which it was endowed.

The underrated and always reliabile Star Ledger gives a good account of Golen Cipel - the other man, where and how they met and where, and the bizzare history of the porfessional part of their relationships. In an astonishing bit of foreshadowing, check out the follwoing quotes:

In an interview, McGreevey would later call Cipel "bright and tough, not a yes

That McGreevey continued to come to Cipel's aid troubled some of the governor's aides. One, speaking on condition of anonymity, told The Star-Ledger in October 2002: "This is a joke, right? It never seems to stop. You've got to just cut your losses and that's it. He just keeps an issue alive that shouldn't be alive."

For our "non-traditional male" readership, the NY Times has an articleon the lawsuit with a picture of Cipel. Here is another from the Daily News. Now, Cozmo is not gay, but this guy certainly seems like he was no Billy Carl Hanson. I wonder if Bruno of FunkyZeit would think that Cipel is in a Ya! Ya! or a Nisht! Nisht!. This is one straight dude voting for Nisht! Nisht!

In closing, I will let the Times take us out:
Mr. McGreevey's governorship has, in a way, been similar to his dramatic
performance yesterday. His goals were noble, and some of his accomplishments
laudable - like the millionaire's tax he pushed through as a partial solution to
the problem of the state's huge deficit, and his efforts to protect critically
important watershed areas. But the story has always been marred by ethical
questions swirling around his office.

PS, I can't wait to see how Karl Rove spins this into a dig that all Democrats are in some way "bent," but you can count on it.

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Thursday, August 12, 2004
McGreevey Update
Don't look now, but this McGreevey outing/resignation may have been the work of sinister forces.

[Note: I completely ripped this off of Wonkette. Sorry, but it had to be done.]
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Political Bombshell of the year. As my buddy writes me today:
"Take heart, there is absolutely no way that your day is going as poorly as New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy's. "

More on this story as it develops.

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Citizen Dick
When it's not otherwise occupied in its quest to be Der Sturmer for the 21st century, the New York Post has some absolutely essential material. I submit to you, in full, an item from today's Page Six:

TV comic Andy Dick went on a randy rampage at Suede early yesterday that ended after he burst into tears over the death of his friend Rick James and was thrown out of the Chelsea club by "Little Shop of Horrors" star Joey Fatone.
Dick, the star of MTV's "The Assistant," was desperately in need of a minion to get him under control as he tried to kiss any man or woman he bumped into, including "Austin Powers" actor Seth Green, rolled around on the men's room floor, and asked clubgoers if they had cocaine.

The vodka and cranberry-swilling comic then barricaded himself in Suede's dishwashing room and began sobbing uncontrollably about James, who died last week, reports an eyewitness who witnessed the meltdown. "My best friend is dead!" Dick wailed. "He's gone! He's dead! You don't understand! All my best friends die!"

Dick then handed a dishwasher a stack of $100 bills so he could "live in the room." When Fatone — whom Dick taunted as "Fat One" — and Suede owner Eytan Sugarman tried to coax him to leave, Dick said, "You don't want to push me around, because I'm perfectly capable of doing this" — and punched an unidentified friend standing next to him in the face.

Finally, Fatone, the former *NSYNC member who co-hosts a Tuesday night party at Suede with promoter Brandon Marcel, dragged the blubbering Dick outside with the help of Sugarman and loaded him into a cab in front of a crowd that included Green, Mets outfielder Cliff Floyd and MTV veejay Vanessa Minnillo. Green was overheard sputtering, "That guy tried to kiss me," as Dick was hauled past him.

But Dick's rowdy romp wasn't over yet. The former "News Radio" star, who has battled drug and alcohol abuse in the past, headed downtown to Plan B on Avenue B and promptly commenced smooching and slapping the people inside.

"He was obviously obliterated," Plan B co-owner Josh Boyd told us. "He jumped on the back of Jason Battle, my co-owner, and kept trying to kiss him. Then he started getting violent and bitch-slapping people.

"We finally quarantined him and put him in a separate room. But then he slipped outside and skipped out on his $300 bar tab. The last anyone saw of him, he was rolling around the street on Avenue B."

Dick's manager declined comment.

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Mr. Blutofsky - Zero Point Zero

Fat, Drunk, and Stupid is No Way to Go Trough Life, Son

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Remember the Maine?

Saw a great commerical today for Maine Tourism...The Announcer said, "Looking for something fun to do while the Convention is in town? Try Maine!"

Not a bad idea. It sure beats fighting for a slice with Trent Lott... Plus, I'm sure that Kennebunkport will be cleared out.

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Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Finally, A Concise, Understandable Platform
The Onion proposes a new Kerry campaign promise - the one point plan for a better America. The platform can summed up in two words:

Seriously though, things are bad when The Onion is making more sense than Karl Rove's vultures. The "Swift Boat Verterans for Truth", a thinly vieled Bush campaign vehicle, has claimed that John Kerry lied about his Vietnam service and about his Silver Star applications. These guys make me want to stand up and shout. I mean, if you actually beileve this shit, you whould be locked up. Last time I checked, the Navy doesn't just GIVE out Silver Stars. It is the third highest award anyone in the Navy can recieve, after the Congressional Medal of Honor and the Navy Cross. No, the military does not just heap out Silver Stars like it does Purple Hearts. There is an investigation by an outside committee and then it has to be approved by many senior ranking officials, including at least one Admiral. If Kerry was lying about the particulars of the situation at the time, there is no way they would not have just awarded him a Bronze Star to avoid future scrutiny, if they awarded him anything at all. The fact that ANYBODY gives this obvious smear campaign any credence makes me want to Stand Up and Shout! Oh yeah, the clown who wrote the circular-file fodder book for the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth is a bigot. Big shock.

We have all seen how brutally effective Rove's smear campaigns have been in the past (re: John McCain in [EDIT] SC), but the backstabbing seems to be backfiring on Rove this time. As the skeleton hunting continues, here is an article showing George Bush cheating at rugby in the Yale yearbook (He's lucky I wasn't on the field for the opposing squad. He may not have made if off in one piece after this move). Also, apparently, Lynne Cheney was into selling sex back in the 1970's - pulp sex, that is. Check out this descripting of the book from an LA Times Article today:
Throughout its pages are fornication (the heroine with her late sister's husband), incest (half brother knocks up half sister), adultery (the heroine, with her first husband's friend), contraception (by the wed and the unwed) and lesbian couplings (the heroine's sister and an older woman). And incidentally, lynchings, dogicide, cattle theft and robber-baronism.

Sounds like very wholesome, family values type of stuff. Oh yeah, she was head of the supposedly evil NEH at the time. She must have been infected by the vast liberal conspiracy when she was writing Sisters.

I don't think this is the end of the comeuppance for the Bush camp. Well Karl, you should have read your Bible more instead of thumping it. "Cast ye not the first stone..."

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Pimping For The Atlantic Monthly
I finally got around to reading a fascinating piece in the most recent issue of the Atlantic Monthly. It's written by a Wall Street Journal staffer who was able, after the fall of Kabul in November 2001, to somehow purchase two computers used by senior Al Qaeda figures (senior meaning bin Laden and Zawahiri level). He goes into great detail about the contents of one of the computers (the CIA confiscated the other before he got a chance to make backup copies), including email correspondence between bin Laden and Mullah Omar, Zawahiri and his lieutenants, and downright spooky poetry written by a jihadist who had committed himself to an impending suicide operation. Here's a link to the article [EDIT: thanks Nordy], you can either subscribe (highly recommended, the Atlantic is one of the most intellectually stimulating magazines out there) and read the full version, or just pick up a copy from your local newsstand.

My thoughts after reading the piece:

- Given their disorganization and continual "corporate" bickering, pulling off 9/11 took way more luck than it did skill.
- The Iraq War and the way in which it was approached really was a dream come true for these guys. Relatively defenseless target? Check. Heightened perception that the US might be overstepping its bounds? Check. Increased hostility from the world community towards Americans? Check. A rallying point for Muslims? Check. Breeding ground for new terrorists? Check. They thought, incorrectly, that the invasion of Afghanistan would be the quagmire that helped bring the United States down, a la the Soviet Union. While it's still not secure by any means, Afghanistan will be nothing compared to the disaster that Iraq will be if we don't stabilize the situation soon.
- The impression I got was that pre-9/11 Al Qaeda was the angry Muslim equivalent of the He-Man Woman Hater's Club from "The Little Rascals". Strong-willed and purposeful, to be sure, but basically a bunch of disorganized idealogues with a little bit of cash. And not even that much cash. Much has already been written about how we overestimated their financial capacity, this article confirms it. An email conversation between Zawahiri and one of his minions is printed, with the two haggling over $300 phone bills.

To be sure, these are evil fuckers who would like to kill as many Americans as possible (although, strangely, they cite 10 million non-combatant casualties as some sort of "cap" to their eye-for-an-eye-style agression - anything up to that is A-OK according to their twisted interpretations of Muslim law). And I truly think, with full props to our military, intelligence, and law enforcement efforts, that we've done a pretty good job capturing or neutralizing senior Al Qaeda figures. We need to do better, particularly with younger, and presumably more reckless, terrorists filling those ranks.
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Caption Contest

Beyond McCain looking as though he's about to start humping W's leg Mr. Peepers-style, I don't have a joke here. Post your best captions in the Comments section...
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Friday, August 06, 2004
Fat Actress? That's the best that Shotime can do? Really?
Kirstie Alley is developing a new show to be aired on Shotime in a year or so. Apparently, it will be a poor woman's version of the incomparable Curb - [wait for it] A poor fat woman's version that is.

Read all about it and watch the Bizarro World video clip here.

Oh, the fragility of the human body...To think she used to be considered hot back in the day. I mean, can we really be only a decade apart from this:

to cankles like this?

Scientology, it does a body good.

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Cocaine Is A Hell Of A Drug
Good night superfreaky prince.

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That's Spanish For...THE NINO!

I am El Nino! All other tropical storms must bow before El Nino! Yo soy El Nino! For those of you who don't "habla Espanol", El Nino is Spanish for.. The Nino! To any of you hurricanes who are listening, step on up! Because nobody can take El Nino! I challenge any of you punk-ass tropical storms to a no-holds barred cage match! Any time! Any coast! I swear to God all Mighty it is time to pay the piper, 'cause El Nino's coming for ya! And it ain't gonna be pretty!

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Thursday, August 05, 2004
A Billiant Idea

As I posted yesterday, in an effort to appeal to young and relatively hip swing state voters, MoveOn.org has put together a series of concerts featuring the likes of Bruce Springsteen, REM, Pearl Jam, and others. In response, the GOP is sponsoring barn-raisings, quilting bees, and butter churn-offs to court, you guessed it, the Amish vote.

Line of the week:
Democrats have all but ceded the Amish vote to Republicans.

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Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Henri Cartier-Bresson 1908-2004
It may seem a bit unusual to memorialize a photographer in the annals of AofG, but Henri Cartier-Bresson is a special case. I was slightly obsessive about photography for a few months in college, particularly the work of Cartier-Bresson and Richard Avedon. And, he's only responsible for my favorite photograph ever. I think that's worth some space, no? The Times, as usual, does the obituary as well as you can. Oh, and how about that picture I like so much:

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Meet The New Boss...
... you know the rest.

If I'm John Kerry, I see something like this coming together and I have to think to myself, "I like my chances just a little bit more."

If I'm George Bush and I see something like this coming together, I have to think that there's no way anyone supporting my candidacy could put something like this together without seriously pissing John Ashcroft off. After all, there may be dancing at some of these concerts.

Chances of me crashing at my parent's house on October 2? Somewhere in the neighborhood of "Absolute Fucking Certainty". And I ain't talking about the James Taylor/Dixie Chicks concert.
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Funny Ha-Ha
Mathew Gross made me laugh today:
I don't see why everyone is so surprised and upset that Tom Ridge raised the terror warning based on erroneous or vague information that was three years old, since we invaded Iraq based on erroneous or vague information that was ten years old.

We should praise such consistency. And we must understand that the kind of information available to us today is the result of the President's leadership in the war against terror.

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Tuesday, August 03, 2004
It's a good day for fans of "The Chappelle Show". Dave gets set for life, we get two more seasons and I find this.

It's a celebration, bitches...

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Dear Tom Ridge,

Thank you for scaring the living shit out of many decent, tax-paying law abiding New Yorkers. Thank you for taking a year off my mother's life. Thanks for allowing me to sit right down at a table at Houston's today as well.

It turns out your "specific intelligence" about the Stock Exchange and the Citibank Center are fore BEFORE SEPTEMBER 11. I guess this was a little detail that you convienetly left out of your presentation this weekend. This wouldn't have anything to do with raising the specter of terror before the Republican Convention here in NYC, would it?

Again, thanks for nothing.

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What's The Worst Outcome?
1) Tighter security and heightened fear in the face of what, on the surface, looks to be a serious threat?
2) Partisan skepticism as to the timing and legitimacy of said threat?
3) Backlash and more partisan bickering in response to the skepticism as to the timeliness and legitimacy of said imminent threat?
4) Doubt over why a threat was said to be serious, given that most of the information is of a dated nature, followed by a re-exploration of outcomes 2 and 3?

Sure looks like we're getting all four in spades. Honestly, I think the Department of Homeland Security is in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario, so I'm willing to cut them some slack. But it seems like the only thing they've accomplished (at least in this writer's case), is a sense of utter confusion as to how serious their warnings are, how relevant the admittedly chilling information that they've released is, and just who exactly I can believe. That can't possibly be a good thing, no matter whether the threat is real or not.

Yeah, I'm not exactly the first guy who would go out on a limb and give our current administration the benefit of the doubt, but, honestly, the more I hear, the more of a frustrated skeptic I become. After all, it was only four weeks ago the DHS released what seems now to be a completely purposeless terror alert. In that case, there was no evidence, no reasoning, no follow up, no extra measures taken, only peculiar timing.
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Monday, August 02, 2004
End Of An Era
We've pointed all the incoming conventioneers in the right direction for their pizza needs. Sadly, one of the bars most responsible for the late-night drunken slice craving has closed its doors.

I gotta admit, I was never a huge fan of the Idiot, particularly in the post-smoking ban era, when the overwhelming stench of vomit was no longer masked by the heavy smoke. Whatever. It's not like its appeal had anything to do with how good of a bar it was.

Their closing due to increased rents no doubt paves the way for yet another uber-trendy Meatpacking District club that I won't want or be able to get into. With the Little West 12th/Gansevoort/Greenwich intersection fast turning into Downtown Disney for dudes in striped button-down shirts, my only request is for The Old Homestead to lock in its lease if it hasn't already.
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Hey you! Redneck! PUT DOWN THAT FORK!
Slice, a pizza eaters' blog has put together a great site for delagates looking for the perfect pie called GOPizza. Topics include the finer points of coal oven charring (don't eat under-done pizza), what to call what you are eating (not a piece, damnit), and folding techniques.

The main point is that, don't eat a slice with a fork. I can't stress how important this is. Pizza is meant to be folded and eaten with your hands. Forks are for bumkins. Case closed. So, for the love of Jebus, leave that 5 piece Pizza Fork set at home, fellas.

WIthout further ado, AofG lets out-of-towners in on it's Pizza eating secrets.

Old School Full Pie:
Tottano's (esp. Coney Island)
John's (Bleecker Street)

Joe's (Carmine Street - Either Location)
Ray's Original - Most locations
Little Vinny's - Late night only

Patsy's (Chain of fools) - I'm always shocked by the
Ben's Pizza
Pizza Booth

MMMM. I wonder what I am having for lunch today!

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